You don't have asthma, your pregnant
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
