Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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