Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Randomize
