hell yes lets make some ravioli
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
