He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
