as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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