Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
