You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
