I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
