I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Four minutes until I can fart!
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
