Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Are my feet made of real feet?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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