I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize