Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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