who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
