My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
