I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
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