Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
