He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
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