But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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