nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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