What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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