Kareoke will never be a sober sport
they need to just BURY HIM!
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
