He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
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He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
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I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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