i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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