grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
