well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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