question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
