we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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