Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize