lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
