Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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