I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize