he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I touched a dick in church today
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
