what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
did you just send me my own nude
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
