I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
