dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize