I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
its not stalking. its research.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
