ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
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