what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize