let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
