My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
