A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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