I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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