there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Every concussion has its silver lining
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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