I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
