She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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