Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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