He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
