There is no way he is gay with that hair.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
