Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
