i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
