She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
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I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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