Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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