Pappa wants mamma naked
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
