If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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