so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Randomize