do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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