i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
