I heard we made out
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
